Shane Mauss on Jimmy Kimmel Live

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Anjelah Johnson - and I made a chicken pot pie from scratch w/ my sisters recipe. So proud of us. Haha #fb Link
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 20:45:38 PDT
Mike Carano - Old guy in Domino's van tailgating me. Only texting cause it's pissing him off. Going to hit brakes to try and make the pizzas slide around.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 20:41:38 PDT
Greg Proops - Portland, I need Powell's and Huber's. Be with me, Proop's.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 20:40:31 PDT
Bert Kreischer - What a beautiful day http://yfrog.com/n0agafj
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 20:29:45 PDT
Sandra Bernhard - that is insane! i love eggplant though so let me think about it
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 20:15:30 PDT
Mike Carano - I hope everybody had a safe and happy Labor Day weekend. (Except tow truck drivers and meter maids. You both can fuck off)
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 20:05:53 PDT
Wendy Liebman - My sister went to Burning Man and all I got was this lousy pile of ashes.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:58:53 PDT
Mike Carano - Well, I do believe it, and I don't have bridge money. Me talking to old guy at Ralphs.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:58:08 PDT
Ellen Degeneres - Our Season 8 premiere is in exactly one week! Can?t wait for ya?ll to see the fun stuff we?ve been working on. #EllenRocksTheVMAs
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:55:50 PDT
Mike Carano - 7:45 pm. Just woke up from a nap. I'll be complaining about insomnia in less than four hours.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:51:54 PDT
Gilbert Godfried - Right now I'm on a rerun of the Hasselhoff Roast on Comedy Central. Rush home.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:46:05 PDT
Wendy Liebman - I hope you don't catch the bouquet. #donthavejokeyeteither
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:27:34 PDT
Chris Finnegan - Man, as of midnight tonight this white cock-ring is going to look really gauche.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:25:38 PDT
Chelsea Handler - I just found a piece of lettuce in my belly button.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:21:10 PDT
Wendy Liebman - Mercury isn't in retrograde. It's now in Jeremy Piven.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:18:10 PDT
Wendy Liebman - Because some of them sound the same and they want to make sure the BMI check goes to the right person?
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:17:07 PDT
Finesse Mitchell - #praying 4 ur fam!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:15:47 PDT
Cheech Marin - Love your stuff ... had it at my wedding reception - ask Melissa to send you pix
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:14:12 PDT
Gary Owen - Craigslist getting rid of "Adult" feature oh well back to the street corners hookers.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:10:35 PDT
Todd Barry - About to do a college show for new freshmen. Translation: about to bomb.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:06:05 PDT
Charlie Murphy - RT@cmurphycomedy Thats what's up!!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:04:26 PDT
Sarah Silverman - The kid on 2 1/2 Men is a man. They have to change the title to Three Men. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:00:32 PDT
Charlie Murphy - Don't forget to pick up the book "Charlie Murphy" The Making of A Stand Up Guy. In all major book stores or on line @ Amazon.com
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:57:55 PDT
Todd Barry - Backstage in Illinois. Water, chicken fingers, and an organ. Link
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:43:32 PDT
Finesse Mitchell - Do NOT start. I can't believe what I am watching right now. #VT=> RT @Finessemitchell: @TishaLewis lol!"< SMH
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:41:40 PDT
Cheech Marin - Thanks for the follow, but Twitter gave me my name back -- I'm @CheechMarin (no more @RichardMarin!) - @CheechandChong, too!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:39:22 PDT
Cheech Marin - ... ahem, how did Tommy and I miss the invitation to attend? Hhmm ... we'll be in Vancouver? My peeps will go -- send deets!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:37:15 PDT
Gary Owen - Brent Musburger looks old as shit. Hes been calling sports since that guy wrecked on the ski jump.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:34:32 PDT
Tony Rock - You in Miami??
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:27:13 PDT
Todd Barry - My night keeps getting better and better! Link
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:23:36 PDT
Sandra Bernhard - kiss kiss it's fashion week again! and rosh hashonah!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:23:29 PDT
Maryellen Hooper - Bought a REAL pillow today...replaced the $5 one I've had for decades that, according to @Oprah, is filled with enough DNA to clone myself.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:23:11 PDT
Jamie Kaler - No complaints here.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:21:49 PDT
Sandra Bernhard - thank you everyone for putting me over 40,000! i love it!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:21:41 PDT
Jamie Kaler - It's about time I found some love!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:21:27 PDT
Jamie Kaler - RT @gracepap: @JamieKaler hopefully TBS will make mucho $$ off of Conan and they will be able to give you another season with more eps.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:21:04 PDT
Jamie Kaler - Just in case you missed last night's #MyBoys --- My Boys - Recap & Review ? Puss ?N? Glutes: http://t.co/vMnHkyP
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:19:29 PDT
Tony Rock - Actually you didn't. You just didn't call. THATSTHATBULLSHIT
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:02:56 PDT
Finesse Mitchell - lol!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:56:01 PDT
Tony Rock - Same as Chi town baby ; )
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:51:53 PDT
Tony Rock - Nah. She does...
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:49:49 PDT
Tony Rock - If you ever make your girlfriend mad, don't let your good girl go bad. Drop 5 stacks on a 'make up' bag... (You know)
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:43:52 PDT
Tony Rock - Hey you'
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:38:31 PDT
Tony Rock - (Actual text message): I would love to Tony but I have a boyfriend now.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:37:54 PDT
Tony Rock - Drunk in Miami!!!... I see some ladies tonight that should be havin my baby, baby.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:31:48 PDT
Dane Cook - See Machete w/ @JessicaAlba Lots of energy. Fun. Thrills. Its like Jaws if the shark was played by Danny Trejo.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:28:25 PDT
Finesse Mitchell - @QBKILLA fuuuuuuc! I'm missing the GAME! Somebody get me in front of a TV quick! #LAX #notahokiefan
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:26:49 PDT
Gary Owen - Safe 2 say if a brotha plays football 4 Boise St. what he's saying is Yes I like white women.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:25:43 PDT
Ellen Degeneres - This baby has great taste. http://bit.ly/drNzC3
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:10:49 PDT
Todd Barry - You're lucky I sort of know you, or else you would've been BLOCKED earlier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:58:59 PDT
Todd Barry - Wow! What did I do to deserve this?! Link
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:53:42 PDT