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Comedian tweet
Sandra Bernhard -
that is insane! i love eggplant though so let me think about it
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 20:15:30 PDT
Wendy Liebman -
My sister went to Burning Man and all I got was this lousy pile of ashes.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:58:53 PDT
Ellen Degeneres -
Our Season 8 premiere is in exactly one week! Can?t wait for ya?ll to see the fun stuff we?ve been working on. #EllenRocksTheVMAs
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:55:50 PDT
Gilbert Godfried -
Right now I'm on a rerun of the Hasselhoff Roast on Comedy Central. Rush home.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:46:05 PDT
Wendy Liebman -
I hope you don't catch the bouquet. #donthavejokeyeteither
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:27:34 PDT
Chris Finnegan -
Man, as of midnight tonight this white cock-ring is going to look really gauche.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:25:38 PDT
Chelsea Handler -
I just found a piece of lettuce in my belly button.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:21:10 PDT
Wendy Liebman -
Mercury isn't in retrograde. It's now in Jeremy Piven.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:18:10 PDT
Wendy Liebman -
Because some of them sound the same and they want to make sure the BMI check goes to the right person?
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:17:07 PDT
Cheech Marin -
Love your stuff ... had it at my wedding reception - ask Melissa to send you pix
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:14:12 PDT
Gary Owen -
Craigslist getting rid of "Adult" feature oh well back to the street corners hookers.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:10:35 PDT
Todd Barry -
About to do a college show for new freshmen. Translation: about to bomb.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:06:05 PDT
Sarah Silverman -
The kid on 2 1/2 Men is a man. They have to change the title to Three Men. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 19:00:32 PDT
Charlie Murphy -
Don't forget to pick up the book "Charlie Murphy" The Making of A Stand Up Guy. In all major book stores or on line @ Amazon.com
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:57:55 PDT
Todd Barry -
Backstage in Illinois. Water, chicken fingers, and an organ. Link
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:43:32 PDT
Finesse Mitchell -
Do NOT start. I can't believe what I am watching right now. #VT=> RT @Finessemitchell: @TishaLewis lol!"< SMH
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:41:40 PDT
Cheech Marin -
Thanks for the follow, but Twitter gave me my name back -- I'm @CheechMarin (no more @RichardMarin!) - @CheechandChong, too!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:39:22 PDT
Cheech Marin -
... ahem, how did Tommy and I miss the invitation to attend? Hhmm ... we'll be in Vancouver? My peeps will go -- send deets!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:37:15 PDT
Gary Owen -
Brent Musburger looks old as shit. Hes been calling sports since that guy wrecked on the ski jump.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:34:32 PDT
Tony Rock -
You in Miami??
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:27:13 PDT
Sandra Bernhard -
kiss kiss it's fashion week again! and rosh hashonah!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:23:29 PDT
Maryellen Hooper -
Bought a REAL pillow today...replaced the $5 one I've had for decades that, according to @Oprah, is filled with enough DNA to clone myself.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:23:11 PDT
Jamie Kaler -
No complaints here.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:21:49 PDT
Sandra Bernhard -
thank you everyone for putting me over 40,000! i love it!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:21:41 PDT
Jamie Kaler -
It's about time I found some love!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:21:27 PDT
Jamie Kaler -
RT @gracepap: @JamieKaler hopefully TBS will make mucho $$ off of Conan and they will be able to give you another season with more eps.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:21:04 PDT
Jamie Kaler -
Just in case you missed last night's #MyBoys --- My Boys - Recap & Review ? Puss ?N? Glutes: http://t.co/vMnHkyP
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:19:29 PDT
Tony Rock -
Actually you didn't. You just didn't call. THATSTHATBULLSHIT
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:02:56 PDT
Finesse Mitchell -
lol!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:56:01 PDT
Tony Rock -
Same as Chi town baby ; )
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:51:53 PDT
Tony Rock -
Nah. She does...
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:49:49 PDT
Tony Rock -
If you ever make your girlfriend mad, don't let your good girl go bad. Drop 5 stacks on a 'make up' bag... (You know)
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:43:52 PDT
Tony Rock -
Hey you'
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:38:31 PDT
Tony Rock -
(Actual text message): I would love to Tony but I have a boyfriend now.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:37:54 PDT
Tony Rock -
Drunk in Miami!!!... I see some ladies tonight that should be havin my baby, baby.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:31:48 PDT
Dane Cook -
See Machete w/ @JessicaAlba
Lots of energy. Fun. Thrills. Its like Jaws if the shark was played by Danny Trejo.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:28:25 PDT
Finesse Mitchell -
@QBKILLA fuuuuuuc! I'm missing the GAME! Somebody get me in front of a TV quick! #LAX #notahokiefan
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:26:49 PDT
Gary Owen -
Safe 2 say if a brotha plays football 4 Boise St. what he's saying is Yes I like white women.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:25:43 PDT
Todd Barry -
You're lucky I sort of know you, or else you would've been BLOCKED earlier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:58:59 PDT
Rober Schimmel -
Funeral is 1:00 p.m. on Wednesday in Scottsdale at Paradise Memorial - 9300 E Shea. This is a VERY short service... http://fb.me/GGWUzsus
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:51:26 PDT
Loni Love -
Comics of Chelsea Comedy Show w/me, Heather,Guy and Chris Oct 1 in Seattle http://tiny.cc/msyex and Oct. 2 in Reno...http://tiny.cc/bcwvz
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:49:55 PDT
Loni Love -
Comics of Chelsea Comedy Show w/ me, Brad, Josh and Sarah,In Miami Oct 8. http://tiny.cc/5bshl and Atlantal Oct. 9th.. http://tiny.cc/3qooz
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:45:08 PDT
Roy Wood Jr. -
RT @jharriswhite: @roywoodjr J. White aka Mr. Use Up All The Foil So You Have To Double Up On Paper Plates. #BBQTweet
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:34:40 PDT
Roy Wood Jr. -
RT @KINGBEEF81: @roywoodjr BMF Freestyle- I think im Leo Deblin, Johhny Herston. I called yo phone, you started cursing.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:32:44 PDT
Robin Williams -
Join Robin and help find cures for spinal cord injuries - Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation http://ow.ly/2A2xs
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:29:28 PDT
Tony Rock -
That wasn't my finger.
Mon, 6 Sep 2010 16:21:42 PDT
